maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Randomize
