so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
