so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
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