The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
