if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
