just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Randomize
