I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
