508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
