Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
