By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
