you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Randomize
