Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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