You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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