Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
so that wasnt chicken after all
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Randomize
