oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Randomize
