Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize