I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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