im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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