Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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