Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
