am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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