I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
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