She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Randomize
