it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Randomize
