my vag is so smooth its legendary
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Randomize
