One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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