i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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