'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Randomize
