I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
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