i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
