Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
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