I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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