His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Cover your peen. We're going out.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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