so that wasnt chicken after all
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
