you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
He passed out mid-signature
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize