Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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