he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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