He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
