"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
