Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
