Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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