D3 body, D1 cock
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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