OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Randomize
