: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
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