So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
