no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Randomize
