i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
