i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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