Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
