I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
