wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
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