operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
