I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
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