VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Randomize