Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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