it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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