Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
