Don't you send me to vm
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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