Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
